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The Massage Parlor Prostituteslatest Brad Pitt profile is full of bombshells about his divorce, quitting drinking, and his matcha method. But don't let that distract you from a crucial revelation.

Pitt, who swears he's not going through a midlife crisis, doesn't want to be named Brad anymore. When GQwriter Michael Paterniti asks Pitt if he considers himself successful, the actor (though he doesn't think of himself as much of an actor, either) simply replies, "I wish I could just change my name."

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"Like P. Diddy. I can be Puffy now or—what is Snoop? Lion? I just felt like Brad was a misnomer," Pitt declares. "And now I just feel like fucking Brad."

Pitt, who's such a Brad, quickly clarifies that a rebranding in line with the aforementioned rappers isn't exactly what he's looking for. In lieu of another name he would rather go by "Nothing."

Now, embracing the void is very cool. But there are so many choice quotes in the profile that only a dude named Brad Pitt would say like, "I get up every morning and I make a fire. When I go to bed, I make a fire, just because—it makes me feel life. I just feel life in this house.”

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Good luck combatting the burden of Bradness, dude.

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