【Lascivious Nurse Uniform Diary: Two or Three Times, While I’m Wet】

In what this reporter is Lascivious Nurse Uniform Diary: Two or Three Times, While I’m Wetcalling the "Red Dawn" of 2017, Russia appears to have begun its impending takeover of the United States with our most cherished political nonprofit television channel: C-SPAN.

For approximately 10 minutes on Thursday, C-SPAN1 switched over to Russia Today.

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It's hard not to be on edge considering everything that has happened in the past few weeks. With the U.S. intelligence community having publicly accused Russia of tampering with the election and the more recent release of documents alleging that the Russians have material that could compromise Donald Trump, general paranoia about Russia is nearing historic heights.

Russia Today is usually know as RT, an english-language cable news operation that is funded by the Russian government. It's generally seen as having a very pro-Russia tilt, even by Vladimir Putin, ho said in an interview that the company "cannot help but reflect the Russian government's official position."

So, what happened? C-SPAN isn't quite sure. A C-SPAN spokesperson, who did not seem to be under duress, passed along the following statement: "This afternoon the online feed for C-SPAN was briefly interrupted by RT programming. We are currently investigating and troubleshooting this occurrence. As RT is one of the networks we regularly monitor, we are operating under the assumption that it was an internal routing issue. If that changes we will certainly let you know."

In a word, unconvincing.

So forgive us if this seems reactionary but: CSPAN HAS BEEN COMPROMISED, BEGIN STOCKING UP ON AMMUNITION AND WATER AND HEAD FOR THE FOREST. WOLVERINES!

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