【Ghost Over Flowers (2014) Uncut】

Gwyneth Paltrow has suggested a lot of wacky things in her Goop newsletter (vagina steaming,Ghost Over Flowers (2014) Uncut anyone?), but now she thinks ladies should start walking around with rocks in our hoohaas. Jade stones in the shape of eggs, to be precise.

Yes, you read that right. The magical item starts at $55 and is available from Goop’s “beauty guru/healer/inspiration/friend” Shiva Rose. She elaborated on many benefits of shoving a piece of stone into your most private area:

“Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force.”

Wow. It was apparently an irresistible promise, since the eggs promptly sold out. If you didn't manage to score one, don't worry. While it *is* true that toning your pelvic floor muscles can help with all manner of problems, you definitely don’t need a $55 piece of rock to do that. Kegels are free, and if you really want the aide of a device there are more modern solutions.

Besides, women already bear the burden of a thousand societal expectations. Do we really need to be further weighed down by a literal stone in our vaginas?

(Editor: {typename type="name"/})